Transmen with a vagina are not gay men

Bezzy communities provide meaningful connections with others living with chronic conditions. Join Bezzy on the web or mobile app. Health and wellness touch each of us differently. And it almost always has to do with my body. I was assigned female at birth, but when I hit my teen years, I became increasingly uncomfortable in my own skin.

The best way I can explain it is similar to how I felt when I attended a Catholic mass for the first time as a kid. Everyone else seemed to know what to do: when to recite a prayer, when to stand up and sit down, when to sing and when to kneel, who touches a bowl of water on the way in and why.

But having been raised in a secular home, I had no point of reference. They had attended the rehearsals and I, meanwhile, happened to stumble onto the stage for the performance. Even if I could figure out the rituals by imitating everyone else, I was never going to believe it in my heart, let alone understand it.

The older I got, the more unbearable that alienation became. Meeting other transgender people when I was 19 was an eye-opening experience. I could hear myself in their stories. They, too, felt out of place, even in a crowd full of people who were supposed to be just like them.

I found it impossible to be happy until the world could finally meet me where my heart was. So, I took the bold and scary step to alter my body. I started taking testosterone, and the dark clouds brewing around me started to lift. With each change — my hips narrowing, my cheekbones surfacing, my body hair appearing — it felt like another piece of the puzzle dropped into place.

In fact, some of us have gender dysphoria that focuses exclusively on specific parts or features. The journey was strange and familiar at the same time. When the bandages finally came off, the love I felt for my reflection was almost immediate, hitting me all at once.

I emerged on the other side of that surgery feeling confident, joyful, and relieved. Someone had scrubbed away my anxiety, disgust, and sadness.

I Have a Vagina. I’m Not a Woman. And I’m Totally Cool with It.

In its place was a body I could love and celebrate. I no longer felt the need to hide. And our dysphoria can change over time, too. There can be a lot of reasons for this. And there are nonbinary folks like me who are out in the world, doing our own thing, too! There are so many different ways to be a human being.

I believe life is a whole lot better when we embrace what makes us unique instead of fearing it. As a journalist and media strategist, Sam has published extensively on topics like mental health, transgender identity, disability, politics and law, and much more. Bringing his combined expertise in public health and digital media, Sam currently works as social editor at Healthline.

Society typically tells us that there are two sexes, male and female, and that they align with two genders, man and woman. With the increased….